Some thoughts for this Sabbath evening

I need to get real for a second. I'm not going to lose 6 percent in 6 weeks. But I WILL lose 50 pounds this year 

In Relief Society today, our dear teacher shared part of her personal story which includes having to give up what she called "fun food" in order for her body to feel better, happier. This really hit me. I want to feel better, happier. 

Yesterday, in the temple, the thought came to me that my trouble with emotional eating might be remedied if I corrected my emotions instead of my eating. Not exactly profound but something I needed to hear. 

No solutions but I really REALLY want to see the change. I need to be okay that it won't happen overnight or even in six weeks. I have six days to ensure I end the month four to five pounds less than I started it. Here we go! 

Week Three: + 1.0 [-2.2]

Not very pleased this morning. But then again the last seven days have been filled with cheat meals and moments. I haven't been working out or eating as I should. I need to do better if I want to see the change. 

A neighbor and friend brought over a book entitled, "The Eat-Clean Diet." Ironically, the book touts it isn't a diet but a lifestyle. (Maybe a change in title would have been good?) Anyway, I haven't wanted to give up all the things I love that aren't awesome for me but maybe it's time.{insert frownie face here} ...Maybe. 

Also, as I laid on the floor last night not wanting to finish a workout, I came to the conclusion that my hopes of actually losing 6% in the 6 week challenge is probably hopeless as I haven't been doing all that I need to in order to accomplish it. It was a sad moment, further solidified by a bummer weigh in this morning. 

Here's to the next seven days and new starts. May I have more control to tell myself no to the afternoon and late night snackies that include things like ice cream and yes to the workouts. 

Week Two: -1.4 [-3.2]

Starting this six week challenge this week has been a good thing. Yay for losing weight! And yay for feeling better! My baby has finally given me two nights of full sleep in a row and that is affecting me for the better more than anything. I'm praying this is just the beginning. I really like sleep. 

I've also been debating sharing this blog more publicly, gaining some more accountability. Still debating with myself...

Week One: -1.8

I was grateful for a lower number this morning. I'm not sure I deserved it but I'll take it. 

I attended a Relief Society class last night on healthier eating and whole eating. It was really great and I'm feeling like my goals are do-able. On Monday, I begin a health challenge to lose 6% in 6 weeks. Where I currently stand that's losing about two and a third pounds weekly. Feels daunting but I can do it! 

Here's to another week! 

Pity party for one

I couldn't sleep last night. My mind kept going over and over my failings of the year, the moments of the weekend when I felt the most fat, and how hard it is going to be to get the body I want. I'm feeling pretty emotionally drained, not to mention a little sleepy. 

These aren't the feelings I want as 2014 is nearing its end. I've had victories this year. I want to celebrate them. And I want to be positive about 2015. 

Deep breaths. I also want to share this blog with family and friends and acquaintances of Facebook to increase accountability but that is absolutely terrifying. My dear husband tells me my weight is just a number. It doesn't feel like it. It feels like one of the most vulnerable aspects of myself. Deep breaths.