Friday, May 30, 2014


Back in 2008, I was having some health issues. (I was diagnosed with insulin resistance and depression.) I happened to work at the health center and thus had a really awesome relationship with the nurse practitioner I saw as well as the nurses. We were family. I remember having a question about something Mary had said to me during my appointment so I decided to pull my chart and look at the dictation. There is a reason doctors very rarely hand over their dictation to patients. Printed neatly in my chart was the phrase "morbidly obese." Tears welled in my eyes as I thought back on the appointment. Mary had never told me I was fat. She encouraged me to lose weight and told me it would solve my problems but she was so nice about it. This was cold and painful to read. I was pretty broken up about it but had to stay cool because was I really supposed to be reading my own chart?

Fast forward to today. Driving down the road, I see so many people struggling with MO. It is such an epidemic. And before you say, "hey who are you to judge?" I know... I know. I'm so tired of my skinny person being buried so deep. For the last five months, I have made goals and commitments every week or every month. And I have managed to fail each one. My current 8-week challenge is going fairly well but the weight isn't coming off. I have a plan for June but I'm not going to share it. It is just too discouraging to come on here and say, "oh well, maybe next time." So for now, I foresee a pause in the blogging realm for me. Here's hoping June is a big month for me. A turning point. It is time to bid MO farewell and even though I know he will be around for a while (I don't have the funds to lipo him out instantly, nor am I willing to chop off a leg.) I pray he will be gone for good before I'm 30.

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