Hello, again.

Well, hi. It's been a while.

I've gained 15+ pounds.

Oh, and moved southeast a few states.

Not that that is an excuse.

I'm not pleased. And now it's two days before glorious Thanksgiving and I'm anxious to uncover skinny Rebecca

Have you ever noticed how this desire is stronger at nigh?.

As we sat watching a show, I said to my husband, "It's time to dig up Skinny Me." So I googled how to conduct an archeological excavation while remembering the awesome presentation my sister gave during job week when I was in elementary. Yes. My sister is THAT cool. She is an archeologist/anthropologist. Beat that! Ha! 

How to excavate 

1. Make a plan
• Why excavate? 
• Skinny Rebecca is suffocating.
• What questions do we want to answer? 
• Is my happiness really linked to my size and is my size really linked to my emotions?
• Can I lose weight without becoming obsessive?
• How will we excavate? 
• Crucial moments/Vital behaviors
• Sadly, it feels like every moment of every day feels like a crucial moment. It is definitely time to go through the steps of Change Anything again.
• How will we analyze the artifacts? 
• Thank you, Change Anything.
• Do I have enough time and money to write a report? 
• You betcha.
2. Setting out the grid
• Give context between the artifacts (objects made or used by people) and natural features
3. Excavating units
• Take it a unit at a time
4. Identify artifacts
5. What does it all mean?

Steps 2 through 5 are coming!

Just needed to get this much out of my head tonight.

Here's to sleep,

Good night, world.

-R

Trust

Trust in the Lord with all thine heart;

and lean not unto thine own understanding.

In all thy ways acknowledge him,

and he shall direct thy paths.

Proverbs 3:5-6

21 Day Happiness Challenge

My husband recently shared this TED talk with me and I absolutely loved it. 

Mr. Archer talks about outliers. We have a country filled with people studying the average and we forget how remarkable the outliers can be, because they are well statistically insignificant usually. I used to be an outlier. I wasn't the norm. The average. The trend. And somewhere around the time I hit adulthood, I fell in line. 

My husband and I have been following Shawn's suggestions for rewiring our brains for happiness in an attempt to reclaim our outlier status. 

And I am loving the results in only ten days! I have a notebook with pages of gratitudes and details about them and I wake up ready for my routine of exercise with scripture reading followed by some meditation. What an amazing way to start a day! 

I have been a negative soul for too long. 

Well, hello!

Its been a while. How are you? Also, if you are new to reading this because I finally got brave and decided to share my journey on Facebook. WELCOME! And please be gentle. I went through all of my previous posts this morning, deleting all remnants of where I gave an actual number for my weight, and I realized this blog is a culmination of a lot of my most tender feelings. I, incorrectly, connect my personal worth to what my body looks like as well as what the scale says. You will find a lot of very sad posts. I debated deleting them but I don't want to deny those feelings. For anyone who has tried to change something about yourself you don't love, you may recognize the feelings of disappointment, despair, and frustration.

The last almost five months, since I last posted, have been interesting. I have to admit it was nice to not feel like my journey was being shared publicly and thus my accountability was less. Sadly, I also gained weight. However, I read a lot of interesting material. I read a book about getting the processed foods out of our lives, I read a book about a diet program designed to be a 28 day Jumpstart. And I learned a lot. I attempted to put things into practice little by little. I didn't see much success.

However, in the last 6 weeks I have been putting into practice a different book, Change Anything, and I have lost 4 pounds and am feeling more confident in my ability to make lifelong changes that can result in the body I have always dreamed. Yes, I know, four pounds isn't much. Oh how I wish it was more, but I have had a lot of data points in the last six weeks, meaning a lot of unsuccessful days. 

I love this book for two reasons. 1) It can be applied, well, to ANYTHING. Not just weight loss. Finances. Quitting an addiction. Getting a promotion. and 2) It felt peaceful. It made sense. And because of all that, it finally clicked.

I have created a page if you are interested in more about the book. See the "CHANGE ANYTHING" tab above.

And here's to more blog posts in the near future as I continue to become a new creature.
Thank you for joining me!
-R

Week Ten: + 0.2 [+0.4]

Woke up at 6:30 for a bike ride today. Felt great. I need to do this every day. 

Happy Thursday! 

Repent.

"The Lord works from the inside out. The world works from the outside in. The world would take people out of the slums. Christ takes the slums out of people, and then they take themselves out of the slums. The world would mold men by changing their environment. Christ changes men, who then change their environment. The world would shape human behavior, but Christ can change human nature..."

Ezra Taft Benson

Check out this link too! 

How well do you live the Word of Wisdom?

Do you need to repent? 

I sure do.

Discouraged but trying not to be.

Happy Sabbath.

Week Nine: + 0.4 [+0.2]

Weighing in a day early. A little on the stressed side. 

For the first time in forever...

Last night I set my alarm to 7AM this morning. It went off at 7AM. I turned it off and rolled over. Then listened to my baby stir and realized I wasn't going to get more restful sleep. Out of bed, a potty break, then onto the bike. Had a good sweat then into the shower. 

I have mascara on, I feel refreshed, I am clean, and I am absolutely delighted that I chose to sweat this morning. 

Hello, Monday!

I'm ready for you! 

This week will be a little insane so there couldn't be a better way to kick it off then with sweat and deep breathing.

Week Eight: - 1.0 [-0.2]

A loss is a loss. 

A thought

If you want big changes,

You have to make big changes.

I'm currently reading a book that is really making me think. I'm not going to get the results I want by doing more of the same.

Week Seven: + 2.8 [+0.8]

But I'm working on making progress instead of excuses. In the last week: I was under my calorie goal 4 times, I drank 64 ounces of water or more 6 times, and I exercised 4 times. 

It arrived!!!

And it is in the biggest box I have ever witnessed UPS deliver.

I'm pretty ecstatic!

Maybe we'll even get it put together before and after Zumba tonight!

Week Six: - 0.6 [-2.0]

Oh it feels good to use a minus not a plus sign. We ordered our exercise bike last night. Crazy excited for its arrival on Monday. Crazy excited!!!

Change is hard. But it's healthy. I recently finished a book for the second time (The Emperor's Soul by Brandon Sanderson) and one quote really stuck out to me.

It's not imitating anything; it has become a better version of itself.

Sometimes I wonder, "am I doing this to be like _____ or _____ ? Or am I on this health journey to be a better version of myself?" On the days I'm focused on being the best me, I'm happier, less stressed. On the days the focus is imitating others, I can't be successful so I feel like an utter failure. 

Thankfully, there is One that I should focus on imitating. 

But the beauty of imitating Him is that in the process, I'll become my best version

Week Five: + 0.4 [-1.4]

Don't be discouraged. My bad choices of January may be catching up to me but good choices have been happening lately. Take a deep breath. You got this. 

Plus guess who's getting an awesome exercise bike in hopefully the next week? Me! I'm so excited to finally be able to bike away my pounds!

Be a convert.

"There is a difference between receiving a testimony of truth and being truly converted."

Henry B. Eyring

As we read through this message for Family Home Evening tonight, what I heard was, "There is a difference between knowing how to be healthy and being truly healthy."

As a dear friend said, 

I need to truly be converted. Instead of doing it, and resenting every minute of it ...

Amen. And amen.

Fasting for February

January was a bit of a bust. If big change is going to happen this year, I need to turn things around. 

Truth be known, I like how fat people eat. We can eat ice cream, cake, chips, and other yummy treats and not exercise. Sure we may gain a pound here and a pound there but what's another pound. ... I know. I know.

Goals for February

What I'm fasting for tomorrow because Heavenly Help is the only way I'm going to be successfully

• Eat less than 1700 calories a day.
• Exercise 3 times a week. 
• Drink 80 ounces of water daily.
• Read scriptures first thing every day.

Week Four: + 0.4 [-1.8]

Well, goodbye January. 

Some thoughts for this Sabbath evening

I need to get real for a second. I'm not going to lose 6 percent in 6 weeks. But I WILL lose 50 pounds this year 

In Relief Society today, our dear teacher shared part of her personal story which includes having to give up what she called "fun food" in order for her body to feel better, happier. This really hit me. I want to feel better, happier. 

Yesterday, in the temple, the thought came to me that my trouble with emotional eating might be remedied if I corrected my emotions instead of my eating. Not exactly profound but something I needed to hear. 

No solutions but I really REALLY want to see the change. I need to be okay that it won't happen overnight or even in six weeks. I have six days to ensure I end the month four to five pounds less than I started it. Here we go! 

Week Three: + 1.0 [-2.2]

Not very pleased this morning. But then again the last seven days have been filled with cheat meals and moments. I haven't been working out or eating as I should. I need to do better if I want to see the change. 

A neighbor and friend brought over a book entitled, "The Eat-Clean Diet." Ironically, the book touts it isn't a diet but a lifestyle. (Maybe a change in title would have been good?) Anyway, I haven't wanted to give up all the things I love that aren't awesome for me but maybe it's time.{insert frownie face here} ...Maybe. 

Also, as I laid on the floor last night not wanting to finish a workout, I came to the conclusion that my hopes of actually losing 6% in the 6 week challenge is probably hopeless as I haven't been doing all that I need to in order to accomplish it. It was a sad moment, further solidified by a bummer weigh in this morning. 

Here's to the next seven days and new starts. May I have more control to tell myself no to the afternoon and late night snackies that include things like ice cream and yes to the workouts. 

Week Two: -1.4 [-3.2]

Starting this six week challenge this week has been a good thing. Yay for losing weight! And yay for feeling better! My baby has finally given me two nights of full sleep in a row and that is affecting me for the better more than anything. I'm praying this is just the beginning. I really like sleep. 

I've also been debating sharing this blog more publicly, gaining some more accountability. Still debating with myself...

Week One: -1.8

I was grateful for a lower number this morning. I'm not sure I deserved it but I'll take it. 

I attended a Relief Society class last night on healthier eating and whole eating. It was really great and I'm feeling like my goals are do-able. On Monday, I begin a health challenge to lose 6% in 6 weeks. Where I currently stand that's losing about two and a third pounds weekly. Feels daunting but I can do it! 

Here's to another week!